Things I Don't Understand

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This post is in response to the recent hullabaloo about hazing that is taking place at Drake University.  I live right between the Phi Delta Theta house and the house where the incident took place.  I was delighted to see my home in some of the news stories.

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I have friends in various fraternities.  All fraternities seem to enjoy alcohol and the consumption of it, or at least the cool ones.  (Everyone knows drinking is cool.)  I don’t have a problem specifically with hazing or alcohol, but I have a problem with hazing that involves Everclear.

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The definition of hazing is to “force new or potential recruits to perform strenuous, humiliating, or dangerous tasks.”

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I can certainly understand the pleasure of making somebody do something they don’t want to do.  Power is fun and intoxicating.  I certainly enjoy yelling at people who are younger than me.  I love making my younger cousins do things for me, and I also like to humiliate them.  When I was on the volleyball team I made the freshmen set up the nets and carry the balls to the bus.  We can all agree that hazing is fun and should be done more frequently.

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But why Everclear.  Everclear is a “beverage” that has nearly twice the concentration of alcohol as most vodkas..  I have to wonder is Everclear even edible?  Certainly I could eat a milkshake made of blended glass but it would make me sick and possible kill me.  The same is true of Everclear.  This stuff is gross, deadly, and delicious.  A terrible combination.

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Future hazers should stick to paddling and public humiliation.

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Next Time: Mashed Potatoes

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