November 2nd, 2009
#4 Cats
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To begin, this post is about the animal cats, not the Tony award winning musical. While I do not understand the musical, this post will address my confusion with the household cat.
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Cats begin their lives great: as kittens. Kittens are adorable, playful, and tiny. I understand the appeal of kittens. What I can’t understand is why you would keep a kitten after it is a full grown cat.
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One main argument of cat people is that cats are clean. Cats poop in boxes and don’t roll around in it. I believe that pooping in a box is creepy and disgusting. Poop should be in 2 places: toilets or in flaming paper bags on your strange neighbors front porch. Not boxes in your living room. (Cats that poop in toilets are awesome.)
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Cats seem evil to me. They have eyes that pierce my very consciousness and seem to mock me when I make mistakes. Cats are happiest when you are unhappy. I like it when cats rub on my leg but then when I try to pick them up, they go ballistic. Dogs like to please, cats like to tease.
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If the only requirement you have for your next pet is for it to be soft, cats are great. Otherwise if you want a companion that may smell a bit get a dog. Or a chimpanzee.
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Next time: Croc Haters