Things I Don't Understand

.

It is that time of the year again.  Not Christmas or winter, but the season of ugly sweater parties.  I don’t understand the origin of these parties.  When did it become so easy to find ugly holiday sweaters?  I have to assume that there a surplus of festive sweaters in the 80s and 90s and now they are finally reaching our thrift stores, where they are purchased by college students and worn to party.
.
There is another thing I don’t understand about ugly sweater parties: why don’t I get invited to more?  I feel like I’m a pretty cool guy and I certainly enjoy parties.  Sure I’m not a fan of eggnog but I have a lot of ugly sweaters.  I wear them frequently in the winter so that I might get invited but so far I haven’t been invited.  It is another depressing holiday season for me to sit home alone and wear a sweater with snowflakes on it.
.
Next time: Nazi Fashion

No Comments | In: Clothing | | #

.

I have heard the argument for thongs.  They are the underwear that takes on VPL (visible panty lines).  The less fabric, the less unsightly lines showing the shape of the underwear that you chose.

.

Thongs are made of some very small strips of fabric, sewn together to just barely cover the front bits with a string flowing between the buttocks.  I don’t need to floss in between my buttcheeks, that’s why I use toilet paper.  How could this be comfortable?  There are some things that I won’t do for fashion and the thong is right between spray-tanning and mesh clothing.

.

Though thongs do their job, I can’t understand why anyone would wear them.  No guy would ever notice a woman’s VPL and say, “That’s a turnoff.”  VPL is not something that registers in a man’s head.  An attractive person is an attractive person, regardless of underwear.  Instead of thinking about the kind of underwear that people wear, men just put women into 2 groups: the people that I want to see only in their underwear and people that I don’t want to see in only their underwear.

.

I have to admit that wearing a thong is probably better than going commando.  I need cotton down there and I have a fear of zippers doing damage.

.

Bloggers Note:  The only time men should wear thongs is if they are strippers or they are at Mardi Gras.

.

Next Time: Hazing

No Comments | In: Clothing | | #

Next Time: Thong Underwear

No Comments | In: Clothing | | #

.

Croc shoes are certainly not cool.  They were cool for the first day they were out but now they are only worn by moms and 6 year olds.  Sure I’ll slip into my brothers pair if I’m going to gather the mail, or if I want to look unattractive, but in general I agree that crocs should not be worn.

.

I can understand the appeal of crocs.  They are comfortable, durable, easy to wear, and come in a variety of different colors.  Especially for children, they are probably ideal.  What I don’t understand is the hatred of crocs.

.

Criticism of a certain shoe probably began with the Dutch and their strange idea to make shoes out of wood.  Since then no other footwear has been criticized quite as much as crocs (expect maybe for Ugg boots.)

.

It is unremarkable that some people would criticize or dislike a certain type of shoes.  What does surprise me is the extent to which croc haters go.  I can’t understand why people would go to the lengths that they do to show their hatred for something we put our feet in.  There is a blog and numerous facebook groups where people gather together to hate crocs.

.

What makes people so angry about crocs?  Why is there a youtube video of a guy burning his crocs?  I just don’t understand.

.

Next time: Vintage TIDU: iPods

No Comments | In: Clothing, People | | #